1. The favor of God and
2. My immediate need for income
As I read Proverbs 3 this morning, my conviction was affirmed and intensified.
Proverbs 3 lets us know that, as one is obedient and gratefully acknowledges the mercies of God, "so shalt [he or she] find favor and good understanding in the sight of God and man" (verse 1-4).
This principle occurred to me as I reflected on such a wonderful day. With little funding, we were still able to enjoy the favor of God. Just as my mother says, I can say with confidence that "God's favor is better than money." I thank God for such a wonderful, loyal family, for I know it is the favor of the Lord Jesus Christ.
However, I can not deny the fact that money is, in fact, scarce. I also can not ignore the fact that, in a time of economic bust, my own unemployment has taken its tole on my self-confidence. The truth is, as of late, doubt tries to creep up in my mind. Considering the price of tuition, my pursuit of higher education seems to be more of a distant dream than a possibility. My passion to become a writer is accompanied with its own doubts. In short, Anxiety is persistent and I cannot afford to be idle. These thoughts interrupt the expectation of poolside Summers as I struggle to keep my head above the unrelenting billows of doubt.
However, I place my confidence in God as I continually remind myself of His promises. Proverbs 3 encourages me to "Trust in the Lord with all [my] heart; and lean not unto [my] own understanding" (Proverbs 3:4). I've come to realize that I have little control over my life-- plans fall through and ideas rarely realize the way I thought they would. However, I am confident that as I acknowledge God in all my ways, "He shall direct [my] paths" (Proverbs 3:6).
God has a unique purpose for each of us. Being so, we can not afford to be deterred by doubt. Let us be confident in the promises of God as we discover His purpose in our lives.